Why I don’t ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”


Until recently, I viewed my life on a time line. I was always preparing for the next grade, the next school, the next job, the next house, the next kid. The plan seems pretty standard: get a degree, get married, have kids, own a house, save for retirement. It was somewhere after I was settled into the job and the kids started getting more independent, that I realized that I am in the place I have been preparing for. I am living the life that has been my goal. Reaching this goal did not make me inherently happy.

Life should not be a series of steps to get to an end goal. Life IS each moment. Whether you are 1 or 100, you don’t need to BE anything else. BE who you are in that very moment. Make the question, “who are you right now? “

I believe it is more important to learn how to live in the flow then it is to learn how to reach a goal.

Living in the flow connects the higher self with the soul, and makes the chatter of the ego become silent. It is here, in the quiet, that you can get the answers you need.

What do you feel?

Living in the present should be the goal. A goal at any stage in life. Living in the present is a state of active, open, intentional attention to the present. When you ask a child, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”, it takes meaning out of the state the child is in RIGHT NOW. Does a 5 year old really need to start thinking about what job he or she will have as an adult? There are SO many more important questions that can be asked. This question sets the stage for living a life focused on everything EXCEPT the present.

So much of the lives of kids today has this future self in mind. There are so many kids going from lesson to lesson, sport to sport, structured play to scheduled play dates. The crazy lives of today don’t leave any time to be still, observe your thoughts, feel your feelings and live spontaneously in the present.

I had lost the ability to hear myself and I am slowly getting it back.

When you can hear yourself, you can live in the flow. You know the answers to life as they are presented. You are able to trust what you hear in your silence.

Let’s make a pledge to teach our kids to hear their voice, trust their voice and be comfortable enough to feel the emotions of the present. Let’s push the ego aside to make way for the soul to fly.

Let’s change, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” to “WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW??


4 thoughts on “Why I don’t ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

  1. I seriously love this. I usually ask kids and then offer up the most ridiculous options but i like this better. I’ll start implementing that tomorrow!

  2. Absolutely love this post! Totally agree that living in the moment is so important and a lesson we really must pass on to our kids.

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